In Praise Of The Good Mate
In the beginning stages of a new relationship we normally talk about all the good qualities our partner has. The love is new and we can never say enough nice stuff about them. Often we don’t know when to shut up, driving our friends crazy with the information overload.
If would be wonderful if that didn’t change; that we would always say positive things about our partner. But life doesn’t work like that. Sooner or later things change, for better or worse.
Flash forward, a few months or even few years later and boy does it seem that things change drastically. The person we used to rant and rave about with nothing but compliments, now we complain to our friends about constantly always telling them what they do or dont do.
Relationship disappointments are inevitable. Your partner will say something that hurts you and there will be days when you’re tempted to call the whole thing off. So how about changing that around and concentrating not just on the negatives when talking to your friends, but also the positive.
Just as we strive for a work and family life balance, we should also strive for balance in our relationship. While venting to a partner about the sore points is advisable, you need to balance that with the positive things in your relationship. Too much of either creates an imbalance for growth and the wrong balance could cause your relationship to collapse.
Now, I am not saying that you should never say anything bad or good about your mate, but knowing when to share or how much to share is important. Sometimes before sharing it may be necessary to meditate or do some deep thinking about what is bothering you.
Thinking before speaking accomplishes two things. One, it provides insight about your situation and allows you to get to the heart of the matter. Trust your instincts. Second, after you’ve thought about it and you’re still feeling unsettled, then you can make the decision to talk to someone.
When talking with a friend about your love life, do remember to balance the positive info with the negative stuff. It’ll allow you friend to not just take your side but it will give them a balanced view of the situation. They might even be able to uncover some positive nuggets that you’ve overlooked. I mean you started dating them for a reason, so any help you can get in remembering why would be a good thing.
This post was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of professional dating posts.
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